Why?

Star Tribune Story

As a father of two (three, in July) - this just tears at my heart. Why would anyone involve their children in that lifestyle? How can you make a decision - staring down a load of armed police - to start a gunfight, knowing your child - a defenseless, INNOCENT child - is in harms' way?

(angry.)

Now - on to out regularly scheduled blogging.

One of the more interesting aspects of contracting in the tech world is what I call "The Temp Factor". Many firms that need developers have no clue as to the extent of the development they actually need: what happens is usually this:

Company needs (development). Now, it could be a software package, a website, integration/update, etc. So - committees are assembled, plans are written, documents are documented - all by very nice business people with too much MIS experience (and not enough development). If the company has an established IT department, the plan is then sent to them, who promptly point at it and laugh, mock it, and then re-write it with what *really* needs to be done.

Sometimes, however, the "plan" makes its' way through the system: bypassing the IT department, or never making it there. It lands on the desk of someone who decides "Hay! Let's implement this derf derf derf...we have our own programmer lol". Who then lets them know how busy they REALLY are. And then - the clarion call is raised:

"SEND. US. A. TEMP...."

The important part to keep in mind is that - until this point - developers really haven't estimated the time and effort necessary to pull off whatever code voodoo the company wants done: they just know that they're too busy to *do it*.

The director of said department decides that "hay since its a web project lol we'll get one of the intarweb programmers rofl." They contact a consulting firm, who then starts looking for a (fingers making quotation marks) 'Web Programmer'. The consulting firm then calls or e-mails someone like me - and the conversation usually goes like this:

'Hi Craig, Company X needs a web programmer. Are you available?'
(me) 'Perhaps - what are they looking for?'
(them) 'um....a.....web developer. [pause]'
(me)'Well, what skills?'
(them)'Oh! AH - let's see.....HTML, JavaScript, Cold Fusion, CSS, Adobe Photoshop, Flash, Java, SQL, Pascal, C++++, VBScript, Binary, Apache server configuration, Linux, Unix,....and Dot Net."

Seriously: those are the types of e-mails recruiters send to me. Anyway.

(me) 'They want ALL of those?'
(them) 'Yeah - it's for a one month project to get a multi-tiered e-commerce application up and running. But there *is* a possibility for extension....'

So - let's see if I have this right. Company X wants a web site, fully developed, up and functional, in ONE. MONTH.

At this point, you could say, "well, that's doable. If they've done all the prep work, like requirements, definitions, etc." And - if I don't want to sleep, eat, or bathe for a month - but that's another rant....

Anyway - in most cases - they haven't done requirements. The best they have is a scribbled stick figure diagram on a bar napkin (or equivalent). They're looking for someone to come in, do the requirements (or - in many cases, re-do them THE RIGHT WAY), code and deploy. In a month. And - in most cases, these companies have no idea regarding the hardware status. "We have a server. Somewhere......yeah! There it is! That old IBM 486 sitting in the corner."

So - they want it yesterday, but they have no idea what "it" is. They know "it's" going to be on the World Wild Intarweb, but they have no server, no support, no backup plan, no idea what "it" should like like or how "it" should run. And - design?

"It should look like our other intraweb sites roflmao"

And: they want a temp to program it, because once it's live, "Jane in Accounting can make the updates omg lol wtf bbq"

Now - this turns out to be lucrative for a lot of contractors and contracting firms: once a contractor gets on-site, a one-month project turns out to be three, and then 6 months long, because of bureaucratic hassle and general ignorance. Not to mention that - once it's live, SOMEONE wants to make changes right away, and "since the contractor's already doing it, let's keep them on omgOMG!" Unfortunately, this also means that - at any minute - the plug could get pulled, and the contractor is packing up his/her Star Wars figures and Dilbert cube goodies on their way out the door.

And the end result is that half - if not more - of these projects end up costing 3+ times more than they needed to, and taking 10 times longer - simply because of the reliance on the fact that "hay we can always hire a tempz0rz omg".

*sigh*

I can't read the news anymore. Between daily overdoses of 'teh stupid', and the apparent belief that *all* Americans are attention-deficient twits that are more interested in PARIS HILTON OMG or what actor is banging which actress and what they wore on the red carpet at one of the 8 freakin' million awards shows - there's very little to be optimistic about.

Economy news? Reports on how our highly-paid elected officials are serving our best interests? Some level of accountability for the gub'mint?

Naaaaaaaaaah. That doesn't sell. Run another story about Lindsey Lohan's Bulemic tirade about Paris Hilton stealing the boyfriend that appeared on American Idol. Now THAT'S news. 15 seconds of fame my ass.

And - when it does come to 'journalistic integrity' - you have the stories about the 2 year old girl who died from a heroin overdose in NYC, and how the Department of Family Services and Happy Thoughts is backlogged to the point where this poor little girl just 'got lost in the system.'
Of course, note how these stories happen to surface during 'Sweeps Week' - to draw more reader interest, more viewers, and so the media companies can jack up their advertising prices blah blah blah.

In the meantime - my search for 'teh job' continues. Tons of positions posted, nothing relevant to my experience or career path.

The Job Market's Improving! The Job Market's Improving! Oh, wai-

A recent set of articles, plus the usual propaganda from the Fed, state that the economy is poised for growth. All the major companies are expecting to be hiring for tech workers, and the demand for IT Professionals will soon outpace the available workforce. We're being told to prepare for 'qualified worker shortages in most of the major IT fields.' (quotes from somewhere.)

To an experienced IT Professional^tm like myself, this kind of blather ranks right up there with 'The check's in teh mail' and 'Of course I love you - Missy? Michelle? Um....'

Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that my skillset is highly specialized, and that I would rather be selective with the positions that I pursue. And that I'm motivated by a passion for mediocrity...

So much for teh daily blogging. Friday was a blur of activity - pickup the new table for the dining room, and by the time the kids were abed, it's midnight. Saturday - The Lovely Bride had a day out with her friend Tara, and between dance lessons for The Fia, wrangling The Benjamin, supper and baths, bedtime came way too quick. Sunday was *supposed* to be a Family Fun Day^tm, but on the way to church, The Fia started vomiting, and so we turned the van around and headed home. The remainder of the day was spent cleaning the house, playing with The Benjamin, snuggling The Fia, and washing cars.

I did get to sneak out for a few hours - just to bum around, but after 2 hours of wandering and browsing, I headed back home. Bored, bored, bored.

This week, I really have to resolve to start knocking items off the 'to do' list.